Jehovah Witness Ban Members From Eating Biscuit–Here’s The Reason

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Jehovah’s Witnesses members across the world may soon be banned from eating biscuits, according to the latest information has gathered.

Jehovah’s Witnesses heartily eat pork and wine but they do not accept blood transfusion as part of their many beliefs.

Their basic belief is that God is the creator and supreme being. Witnesses reject the Trinity doctrine, which they consider as ‘unscriptural’. They see God as the Father, an invisible spirit ‘person’ separate from the Son, Jesus Christ.

Followers have often been chastised for their perceived ‘hypocrisy’ and using ‘backward’ beliefs to enslave themselves. has learnt from a social media post the religious group is seeking to add to a new rule which will stop all Jehovah’s Witnesses from eating biscuit whether privately (at home) and in public.

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Social media user@Lamar_Franklin indicated in a tweet that he has been informed that Jehovah’s Witnesses do not eat biscuit.

He said ‘I heard that members of the Jehovah’s Witnesses church don’t eat biscuits. Is this true?’.

Our checks reveal that leadership of the church has no intention or whatsoever to ban the members from eating biscuits. Yet, there are a hundred reasons one must eat biscuit in moderation.

Evangelist Joshua Orekhie explains that ‘Biscuits are not unhealthy as long as you eat it in moderate quantity’ however ‘Eating biscuits is a very common dream picture among children today’.

‘Since children loves eating all kinds of baked biscuits, the devil has been using it to perpetrate serious witchcraft on the destiny of most children, including some adults. In dreams, these biscuits contain poisons and sorrow. These can cause a person’s original destiny to be stolen or hibernated’, he said.

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Evangelist Orekhie further argued in his post that ‘if a person is eating biscuits (chocolate, digestive, hobnobs,shortbread etc) in dream, it therefore means the person has been bewitched, imprisoned or a person is under satanic punishment’.

The elaborate post sighted by also explained the meaning of different kinds of dreams associated with eating biscuits.

Here are the dream symbols and meaning:

1. If you dream of white biscuit means fortunes and strength.

2. If you dream of smelling biscuit means unpleasant situation.

3. If you dream of stealing biscuit means loss of virtues and success.

4. If you dream of lots of biscuits means abundance of God’s blessings.

5. If you dream of unsweetened biscuit means an unexpected situation.

6. If you dream of wet biscuit means the destruction of good things.

7. If you dream of burned chocolate etc means something bad is coming to overwhelm you.


Editors’ Note: Article written with additional materials form Evangelist is an opinion and satirical masterpiece.

Daniel Ofosu

Daniel Ofosu, also known as Kasatintin is the Founding Editor of He's a writer, satirist and communication specialist. He has a Masters degree in Business Decision Management and Bachelor of Arts degree in English and Psychology. Get in touch with me. Email: Phone: +233 200 130680 IG: Kasatintin _TV

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